by Stephen Popoff

San Francisco leaders are ready to present to the city counsel an appropriate name change to Cesar Chavez Street after the sexual abuse accusations of the late farm labor leader. Both Mayor Daniel Lurie and Supervisor Jackie Fielder have suggested renaming the famous street Hulk Hogan Way in honor of the professional wrestling icon who passed away recently. Idolized by adults and children throughout the country, the mayor said he couldn’t think of a better person to the name the street after.

Supervisor Fielder added that Hogan’s mantra of “Train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins” is the perfect positive message for health-conscious San Franciscans. 

“Hulkamania at its core is the story of an underdog who refuses to give up,” added the mayor. “San Francisco has been taking a lot of crap from outsiders as a city on the decline. That negativity has got us in a ‘sleeper hold’ but as we know, the Hulkster has a way of coming back to win the title. Hulk Hogan Way is definitely the perfect choice.”

Outside observers say the proposal should have no trouble getting approval in spite of the fact that the Hulk had a few scandals of his own. The Hulkster always owned up to his mistakes unlike Chavez, they say. Supporters also point out that the name change will attract tourists due to his immense popularity. One even mentioned that it would be a great idea to use yellow and red rubberized mounds instead of speed bumps to symbolize the Hulk’s leg drops.

It looks like the proposal is sure to pass and the only real controversy is if the new signage will be printed in block lettering or a flaming neon font.