byt Frank Frakes

If Johnny Cash had a chance to sing at the new San Quentin as envisioned by Governor Newsom and prison reformists, the lyrics to the second stanza of his famous prison ballad might go something like this: 

San Quentin I love every inch of you

You served me salmon and cheese when I was blue

And I’ll walk out a healthy, reformed man

Mr. Congressman at least that was your plan

You’ve probably heard the news already.  Governor Newsom recently announced a plan to transform San Quentin into a rehabilitation center based on the prison system used in Norway. The idea in homogeneous Norway was to make prison more like the outside world so when a convict is released into society he is less likely to be rearrested.

San Quentin will not only be borrowing the rehabilitation concept from Norway, but will be serving Norwegian smoked salmon and cheese to inmates while they take in views of the bay and surrounding area, according to the governor.

“We want prison to soften, not harden criminals and what better way to do that than with great views, smoked Norwegian salmon and cheese,” he explained.

At the new San Quentin Rehabilitation Center, there will be no bars on windows and kitchens will be stocked with sharp objects to make it more like the outside world. Inmates will be limited to just two glasses of wine from the nearby Napa Valley per evening but with good behavior that could be increased to three or four.

We sampled the Norwegian salmon on a slice of sourdough with a bit of German Champion Cambozola cheese and it was fantastic. Washing it down with the Napa Valley Cabernet on the prison menu made this reporter want to commit a crime.

Time will tell if the new Norwegian system will reduce recidivism, but make no mistake about it, the Norwegian smoked salmon at the new San Quentin will be out of this world. 

San Quentin you’ve been so kind to me

I’ve been drinking great wine since 2023

Cheese on sourdough helps me mend

When I get out I’ll try not to reoffend

Tell us what you think about the plans for the new San Quentin Rehabilitation Center in the comment area below.