by Gertrude Butler

A new study by the National Institute of Aging seems to suggest that there are clear connections between the fluidity and patterns of drool from the mouths of elderly men and the style and flow in which they express themselves in writing.

Fifty patients from a variety of ethnicities between the ages of 65 and 85 were paid a stipend and observed daily for one year by experts in gerontology at the William Geezer Senior Center located in Baltimore, Maryland.

All subjects were required to drink at least 1.5 liters of water per day and submit to having their mouths and chins photographed by the doctors and their staff several times per day. They were also required to have social media accounts and were given a subject to write about each day. There were no requirements in regards to the length or content of their social media posts as long as they addressed the given subject.

After several months researchers noticed some clear patterns between the quantity and flow of drool and the length and content of the social media posts of the participants. For example, a participant named Raul (not his real name) was discovered to be an unusually heavy and sloppy drooler. His social media posts were long and logically disconnected.  Another participant’s drool came out quick and in spurts, almost as if he was spitting. His social media posts were short, concise and went right to the heart of the issue.

Although those who drooled the most posted the most, it was interesting to note that those who drooled the least showed little interest in posting at all. They often had to be prodded and reminded that they were part of the study, said Dr. Cuspa the chief scientist in charge of the project.

Dr. Cuspa explained that further research would be required to determine the mechanism that actually causes this connection between drool and written expression but this study clearly demonstrates that you can indeed learn a lot from an old man’s drool.